North, South Korean Couples Deal with Cultural, Language Differences
2020-09-13
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1A year ago, Kim Seo-yun gave some very important personal information to her South Korean love interest.
2She had fled North Korea about 10 years earlier.
3Kim provided the information on her second date with Lee Jeong-sup.
4Lee asked jokingly if she was a spy. He then told her there was nothing wrong with coming from North Korea.
5Kim and Lee got married at a Seoul hotel in June.
6But Kim's family, still in North Korea, could not attend the wedding ceremony.
7"In South Korea, my husband is my everything. I have no one else here. He told me that he would play the role of not only my husband but also my parents," Kim said.
8Such marriages are becoming increasingly common in South Korea.
9More than 70% of the 33,000 North Koreans who have fled to South Korea are women.
10There are no official numbers on how many North Koreans have married South Korean men.
11But a 2019 government-financed study looked at 3,000 North Koreans living in the South.
12The findings suggested that 43% of married women from North Korea had South Korean husbands.
13In 2011, that number was about 19%.
14North Korean women often have difficulties adjusting to life in South Korea.
15They often face discrimination and loneliness.
16Some said they married South Korean men to help them with their new lives.
17"I feel like my marriage is letting me acclimate to this society more deeply without too much hard work," said Hwang Yoo-jung about her 2018 marriage to a South Korean man.
18Many women who flee North Korea turn to matchmaking agencies - companies that help North Korean women meet South Korean men.
19Often run by North Koreans, the companies charge South Korean men around $2,500 for several blind dates in a year.
20Most women do not have to pay.
21Around 20 to 30 matchmaking agencies operate in South Korea.
22In the mid-2000s, there were only two such businesses.
23Kim Hae-rin heads a match-making agency in Seoul.
24Kim said she feels happy to help people meet "because I also came here alone and know (the suffering) of other refugees."
25Some of the couples, however, have difficulties.
26They share a language and ethnicity, but they can often seem like foreigners to one another.
27They are, after all, attempting to bridge a 75-year-old division of the Korean Peninsula.
28Lee said he tries to use fewer English words while speaking with his wife.
29She sometimes confuses him by using North Korean expressions that he does not understand.
30Hwang said that she feels "really, really happy" when her husband Seo Min-seok, takes her to a gathering of his friends and their wives.
31She says they often ask her questions about North Korea.
32Seo said he does not usually ask Hwang about her past in North Korea.
33Ahn Kyung-su is a researcher with a private group that studies health issues in the North.
34Ahn said some of the North Koreans that he has spoken to have told him that their South Korean husbands looked down on them and abused them.
35Kim Seo-yun said she misses her parents and younger sister in North Korea and hopes to reunite with them one day.
36"Now, my husband is filling my heart. My mother-in-law treats me well. So does my sister-in-law. It's like having strong supporters in my life, and I'm happy now," Kim said.
37I'm John Russell.
1A year ago, Kim Seo-yun gave some very important personal information to her South Korean love interest. 2She had fled North Korea about 10 years earlier. 3Kim provided the information on her second date with Lee Jeong-sup. 4Lee asked jokingly if she was a spy. He then told her there was nothing wrong with coming from North Korea. 5Kim and Lee got married at a Seoul hotel in June. But Kim's family, still in North Korea, could not attend the wedding ceremony. 6"In South Korea, my husband is my everything. I have no one else here. He told me that he would play the role of not only my husband but also my parents," Kim said. 7Such marriages are becoming increasingly common in South Korea. 8More than 70% of the 33,000 North Koreans who have fled to South Korea are women. 9There are no official numbers on how many North Koreans have married South Korean men. But a 2019 government-financed study looked at 3,000 North Koreans living in the South. The findings suggested that 43% of married women from North Korea had South Korean husbands. In 2011, that number was about 19%. 10North Korean women often have difficulties adjusting to life in South Korea. They often face discrimination and loneliness. 11Some said they married South Korean men to help them with their new lives. 12"I feel like my marriage is letting me acclimate to this society more deeply without too much hard work," said Hwang Yoo-jung about her 2018 marriage to a South Korean man. 13Many women who flee North Korea turn to matchmaking agencies - companies that help North Korean women meet South Korean men. Often run by North Koreans, the companies charge South Korean men around $2,500 for several blind dates in a year. Most women do not have to pay. 14Around 20 to 30 matchmaking agencies operate in South Korea. In the mid-2000s, there were only two such businesses. 15Kim Hae-rin heads a match-making agency in Seoul. 16Kim said she feels happy to help people meet "because I also came here alone and know (the suffering) of other refugees." 17Some of the couples, however, have difficulties. They share a language and ethnicity, but they can often seem like foreigners to one another. They are, after all, attempting to bridge a 75-year-old division of the Korean Peninsula. 18Lee said he tries to use fewer English words while speaking with his wife. She sometimes confuses him by using North Korean expressions that he does not understand. 19Hwang said that she feels "really, really happy" when her husband Seo Min-seok, takes her to a gathering of his friends and their wives. She says they often ask her questions about North Korea. 20Seo said he does not usually ask Hwang about her past in North Korea. 21Ahn Kyung-su is a researcher with a private group that studies health issues in the North. Ahn said some of the North Koreans that he has spoken to have told him that their South Korean husbands looked down on them and abused them. 22Kim Seo-yun said she misses her parents and younger sister in North Korea and hopes to reunite with them one day. 23"Now, my husband is filling my heart. My mother-in-law treats me well. So does my sister-in-law. It's like having strong supporters in my life, and I'm happy now," Kim said. 24I'm John Russell. 25Hyung-Jin Kim reported on this story for the Associated Press. John Russell adapted it for VOA Learning English. George Grow was the editor. 26_______________________________________________________________ 27Words in This Story 28date - n. an occasion when two people who have or might have a romantic relationship do an activity together 29role - n. the part that someone has in a family, society, or other group 30adjust - v. to change in order to work or do better in a new situation 31acclimate - v. to adjust or adapt to a new climate, place, or situation - usually + to 32blind date - n. a date or social activity between two people who have not previously met before 33couple - n. two people who are married or spend a lot of time together 34confuse - v. to identify wrongly; to mix up 35in-law - n. a relative by marriage